25 Things Every Revising Writer Does
Come across a note from your CP that says "this line contradicts something you said earlier" and spend twenty minutes scrolling back and forth to figure out how to reconcile the contradictions, only to realize that you can literally delete the offending line and move on with no complications
While reading a scene, add in a sentence that is perfect and pat yourself on the back. Keep reading and find that exact sentence already in the scene, just a few lines farther down.
Catch an accidental bit of foreshadowing you did and reward yourself for being an absolute literary genius.
Delete the comma.
Add the comma back in.
Rephrase the whole damn sentence so it doesn't need that effing comma anyway.
Worry that your international thriller has too much in common with another international thriller that came out sixteen years ago, even though you just barely noticed the similarities on this, your twelfth reading of your own work.
Wonder if a piano is technologically feasible in your fantasy world and spend four and a half hours researching the manufacturing of musical instruments across multiple cultures that don't resemble your fantasy world in the slightest
Convince yourself that you wrote this scene better the first time and dig through all your old drafts just to learn that you didn't even write this scene until the fifth time through and even that was just "insert a scene here to show this better".
Read a bestselling book within your genre and cry about how much better it is than yours.
Read a bestselling book within your genre and rage about how terrible it is compared to yours.
Research expensive vacations for when you get your seven-figure advance.
Jot down at least fourteen new plot bunnies that occured to you while you were re-reading the trash you've spent a year working on.
Start writing your acknowledgements as a "mental break" but realize you have no idea how to do that (even if you've done it twice before) so you need to go read a dozen acknowledgements sections in other books to see how it's done.
Wonder if maybe this whole novel should be in first person.
Wonder if maybe this whole novel should be in alternating POVs instead of just one.
Wonder if maybe this whole novel should be in verse.
Wonder if maybe this whole novel should be a graphic novel.
Research digital art classes so you can illustrate your graphic novel.
Make a plan to launch a second career as an artist.
Doodle on your outline and abandon your destined-to-fail career as an artist.
Eat a lot of cookie dough.
Wake in the middle of the night with the exact solution you've been searching for and scribble it down on the notepad you keep on your nightstand for exactly this purpose.
Wake up the following morning to find this: